Feelings Awakening
by detohi
Summary: What happens when one realizes their feelings for another. julie-writes./post/133649039883/this-waited-for-me-in-my-inbox-when-i-woke-up-and


Winter's weather matches Kanda's personality: cold, empty, sometimes cruel. At least this is what people usually comment on the topic, now that it's winter, whenever they cross paths with the swordsman. Lavi agrees. Kanda is a lot like winter; pale, beautiful, clear. Lately whatever he is doing, it seems like everything reminds him of the black haired boy. All his life he's been supposed to keep a certain distance from people, but recently he's just drawn to Kanda, he wants to just exist in the same space as he. It starts becoming a burden. He can't get close to others, he has his duties, furthermore it would complicate things to no end. But again, he finds himself sitting next to Yuu at dinner.

The other glances at him annoyed, then turns back to his meal.

'Hey, Yuu how was your day?'

It seems like he just can't shut up, can't fight the urge to speak to the other.

Kanda frowns but eventually answers.

'Shitty.'

'Ahh that's bad, what happened?'

'Some people can't read the atmosphere and keep annoying me.'

'Oh... But come on, Yuu, don't you want to exchange a few words with others at the end of the day?'

'No.'

'I see.'

Lavi is at loss. It rarely happens to him, but with this situation, with his newly awakened feelings, he's at loss.

'Hey, can I have a word with you after dinner?'

'No.'

'Please?' He looks at the swordsman as cute as he can which makes the other turn red.

'Fine, you can have thirty seconds.'

'Thank you, Yuu!'

'And don't call me that.'

When they finish eating, Kanda stands up, takes his plate to the kitchen window and goes out, to his room. Lavi follows him and catches up with him on the corridor.

'Yuu, wait, you said we can talk.'

'Three seconds from the thirty already gone.'

'Ahh, don't be so mad. Listen, I want to confess to you.'

To this Kanda halts, but still doesn't look at the redhead.

'In the last few weeks I started developing feelings for you. I think I like you.'

'It's not funny…' The black haired whispers.

'Huh?'

'You took this joke too far. It's not funny.'

'I'm not joking, Yuu! I'm being honest.'

'Then you're mistaken. I have to go now.'

With that, Kanda continues walking and shuts his room's door behind himself.

Lavi just stands there, dumbfounded. He thought he's doing what's right, but something went wrong. He doesn't even understand what. Ahh it's a pain! What should he do now? Should he tell him again? Should he be persistent? Or would that just scare Yuu away? And he was even so worked up, deciding to tell him how he feels. Is it just that it's one sided? That'd suck.

Lavi gets depressed and goes to the library, spends the night there, reading. In the morning he doesn't see Kanda at breakfast, and soon he has to go on a mission. He's accompanying Allen and Lenalee with his gramps. To his question, the girl tells him that Yuu is on another mission since this early morning. It was something urgent, so he left before the Sun came up.

The redhead travels behind the others without a word. Lenalee chats with Allen, they sometimes laugh. They're so obvious, it's a wonder how Komui hasn't found out about them.

The whole mission takes only two days, and they recover the Innocence surprisingly quickly. On their way home, everyone seems tired, and silence ensued. It kills Lavi, because his thoughts become louder with the lack of other noises. They're about to cross a river, when with a huge explosion the bridge breaks off, leaving them standing on the riverbank.

'That's just great.' Comments Lavi.

'Is everyone all right?' Allen looks around worried, scanning for injuries and enemies.

'I'm fine, thanks.' Lenalee pats his shoulder. 'What was this?'

'Someone probably doesn't want us to go yet.' Lavi states and uneasiness sits on him.

As they look at the area, an akuma approaches from the forest behind them. And others follow it. It looks like some of them are already damaged, but they're repairing themselves fast. Suddenly a body of an akuma slides through the trees, landing in front of them. Someone is fighting their opponents in the forest. They run there and engage in fight too, and as Lavi almost hits the stranger ally who moves incredibly fast, he recognizes him. It's Yuu.

When they eliminate every machine and Allen sets as much souls free as he can, they gather together, Lenalee welcoming the newcomer first with jumping on him, clinging to his neck.

'Kanda, I'm so glad you're here! But how are you here?'

'Tch! I was nearby on my own mission, when I came across this horde you neglected to destroy on your own mission.'

'Ahh, but we didn't meet them. Anyway it's great to have you here, and thank you for the help.'

They start looking for another bridge to cross the river, and Lavi just stares at Kanda with wide eye. He wants to talk with him, but he knows he can't, because his grandfather is there.

With this incident, it takes them one more day to reach headquarters and as soon as they do, Lavi grabs Kanda's jacket and they fall behind the others.

'Hey, can we talk?'

'No.'

'Why not?'

'There's nothing we have to talk about.' The swordsman crosses his arms in front of his chest and looks away.

'There is! Go out with me. Please.'

'No.'

'Why not?'

Lavi doesn't understand. Maybe his feelings really aren't mutual. He hangs his head and feels something new again: his heart breaking.

'Because as I said, you're mistaken.'

'Huh? How?'

'You say you like me, but you're probably just confused. Anyway, you like girls, don't you?'

'Yeah, but not just girls, I like everyone.'

'I see. Still, you can't like me.' Declares the shorter boy and leaves.

What the heck? What did Yuu mean by saying Lavi can't like him? He doesn't believe he can, or it's forbidden? Well, even he wouldn't have imagined that one day he'll be able to fall in love, but it happened, so apparently he can like Yuu. And why wouldn't he be allowed to do so? Because he's a Bookman? Screw it, he could do both, like someone and be a Bookman.

This was a selfish way to think about the situation, but Lavi hasn't realized it.


End file.
